I Beg to Dream and Differ [entries|friends|calendar] turn that down ♪♪♪ [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[07 Jan 2009|12:52pm] "I once prayed to God for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness." 3 cried|skank!

[11 Oct 2008|03:23am] I am a martyr, I just need a motive I am a martyr, i just need a cause I'm a believer, I just need a moment I'm a believer, I just need a cause skank!

[29 Sep 2008|10:08am] seriously. the music industry is disorganized, biased, and kinda retarded. everyone's (and by everyone i mean corporate ceo's) basically running around with their head cut off trying to find some way to make money off of a horrible situation (a.k.a. the internet). it's kind of pathetic actually. these multi billionaire leaders are so out of touch with reality and obsessed with greed that they are even losing touch with basic economic values. they're scrambling to get a cut off of being burned of their own fuck up. it's so obvious now after the last 5 years. itunes, rhapsody, xm radio, cell phones. the tide has turned, and these rich motherfuckers can't get a grasp of it. what we have here is a regular ol' french revolution. we, the music lovers, have faced the tyranny of record labels for the last 20 years. we were forced to pay entire albums just for that one gem of a song. we have had to pay ridiculous amounts of money on a ticket to be controlled in a seat as security guards keep us inline. they have done nothing but stood in our way of what we really want, the artist. all we wanted was to see the artist, but we've got an elephant (the record labels) standing in our way trying to grab our peanuts. in the years past we were bullied by these guys. then on the shiny white horse, bill gates, came and freed us all. vive la revolucion! viva la napster! it was our boston tea party. we stuck it to the man with every blink 182 download. and when they managed to overthrow the p2p situation, another white knight (though this time in a business suit) comes and tries to reason. alas. steve jobs releases itunes. now, people would still have to pay for their distractions and lullabies (with the start up cost of 300 dollars for the ipod). now, the people had the choice to just purchase don't cha without paying for the rest of the crap. and it was good. but already, there are schemes to overthrow itunes. amazon mp3 (warner's lapdog) is the walmart to itunes. selling for less, eliminating the competition, then jacking up prices. but the revolution still lives on. instead of bearing muskets and arms, we fight with cd burners and youtube. and the artists do their part by fighting with home studios and pro-tools. everyone has the right to music. everyone deserves to feel 12 feet off the ground at a rock show. and no artist should have to starve for sharing their gifts to the world. it's gonna happen. music itself isn't going anywhere. should the major labels fall, there will still be artists. there will still be ska shows, warped tour, and awesome road trip soundtracks. the industry has become obsolete. myspace killed A&R skank!

Fall 2008 [15 Sep 2008|12:33pm] i finally arrived back at school. and it feels great. i'm done with fibertech, done with asbestos, done with demolition, done with construction. i've taken everything i can from working there, lessons and all. and now, i finally realize why i'm here at college. over the summer i worked a lot with jeff on construction, and i was trying convince him to reconsider college. i realized then that i was faking it. no matter what school i went to, i was a construction worker. i was no student. i could go to all the classes, pay my tuition, and eat at the dining halls. just going through the motions. eventually it would all catch up to me and i'd flunk out. it's never a question of if, but a question of when. already i've worked myself up to final probation, and when i got the letter it didn't even phase me. completely indifferent. my academic career has been a time bomb. i asked jeff, "what side of the table do you want to end up?". i kind of paused for a second and thought about it myself. and in a moment of clarity i realized i already decided. i remember in the boondock saints when the dad asks them at the end whether they have the constitution to carry out there mission. put it into context of my situation. i have the constitution of a construction worker. every time i neglected effort and energy for school, i was following that constitution. but now i know where i want to be. i know which side of the table i want to be on. i make a lot of promises and i resent when people roll there eyes at me when i make them, but that's only because i acknowledge them. a lot of empty promises have came out of this mouth. i've destroyed any credibility, but that's not where it ends. i've destroyed my gpa, trust, and career. i've come to a point where it's sink or swim. and i never understood the context of the boondock saints quote until this. i either pursue the music industry, or i work construction. this matter may look bad, but this is why i quit fibertech. they gave me the best benefit no other job could deliver. i finally have meaning behind doing homework and going to class. it's what i needed. i needed that black and white, because i dwell in gray areas. i work in the middle of the binary. and each decision i make here and out is for one or the other. alot of you may or may not understand what i'm talking about. i may seem stupid for letting it get to this point. chalk it up to my ignorance and naivety. if you already have this kind of meaning in your life then i'm glad for you, but unless you actually have understood why you are where you are, don't think you have anything over me. i'm proud to say i payed for college in cash, and every dime has meaning behind it. my time here has meaning. and that's not something alot of people can say. skank!

[10 Jul 2008|08:58pm] i hate work. i think being homeless is starting to look like a pretty good option. the icing on the cake of my situation is when this summer is all said and done i wont have anything to show for it. i work 50-60 hours a week working my ass off. and every week i get a paycheck, and it all goes straight into school and various other debts. when its all said and done ill pretty much be poor again come august 8th. i kinda realized today that working this much just isnt healthy (let alone the actual labor end of it). i mean this entire summer ive had zero time to really have free time. i struggle to keep in touch with friends that live a block away from me. i havent spent more than a couple hours with hannah for a max of one day at a time. ive realistically seen her less than 10 times this summer. (i know that statistic is better then some who read here, but you have to understand, i cant stand being more then two feet from that girl) i have 12 hours a free time in a six day week. i get one day of free time. and the thing i trade for something abstract. i mean what if i were ten years older? what if i was starting a family right now? would it really be more beneficial for me to bring home that much more money than spending time with them? no one can criticize my work ethic when it comes to my summers, and i know im capable of doing this the rest of my life. but would it really accomplish anything more? fuck money 2 cried|skank!

[08 Jul 2008|08:31pm] leave for work at 5 in the morning. get home at 7. yep. that leaves 8 hours of sleep. and 2 hours to try to convince myself im not a slave. skank!

[04 Jul 2008|11:29am] my body friggin achhhhes. which is good. 2 cried|skank!

[07 Jun 2008|10:33pm] i friggin love buffalo. skank!

[22 May 2008|02:19pm] the year of 2008 is 40% complete. digest that. skank!

[19 May 2008|11:27pm] between my weekend and the last hour. im dying to start writing again. skank!

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